oh… baby nahla…

sorry for the sporadic posting.  i’ve been working out of town and it’s harder than i’d anticipated to keep up with the blog.

anywho, i figured i’d get around to acknowledging this mess….

some readers and viewers and friends have asked me how i feel about this, and all i can say is that it makes me sad.  i just do not understand the impetus to uphold the one drop rule.  i’m baffled.  it’s so illogical to me.  it clearly only applies to racially mixed with black people.  i’d go so far as to say that it only applies to racially mixed black and white people.  i am quite sure that other mixes do not have such strict identification restrictions.  if you are anything other than black + white, you are not so harshly criticized for claiming the whole of yourself (not that i believe that racial categories constitute the whole of a human self.) i totally understand allegiance to the black community.  i understand that society’s gonna view you one way if you look one way (however, i think the jury’s still out on nahla’s phenotype.)  regardless of that though, i think we’re coming to a time in the collective consciousness of humanity, where it’s most important to be what you are.  regardless of history or politics.  the best we can do is be who we are.  and once we each accept and embrace our authentic selves, it’ll be so much easier to accept and embrace our fellow man as his/her authentic self. whoever they say they are.  whatever they show us they are.  and it’s by defying these antiquated “rules” that we free ourselves and each other to… be ourselves… and each other…

but back to nahla, i’m confident that she’ll find her way, find herself. but, goodness gracious i think her parents are going to make it much more difficult than necessary with this “she’s black because there’s a one drop rule” vs. “don’t you call my child black” (see below) nonsense that we’ve read about… ay yai yai

via TMZ

Sources connected with the former couple tell TMZ … whenever Gabriel would read a story about Nahla that referred to her as “black,” he would go off, insisting his baby was white.  We’re told Gabriel would tell Halle and others they should demand a “retraction” when such references were made regarding his daughter.

As TMZ previously reported, sources tell us Gabriel has called Halle the “N” word  — and one woman previously involved with him referred to him as a “borderline racist.”

Halle Berry on her daughter’s race and interracial romance

As her custody battle with ex Gabriel Aubry turns ugly, Halle Berry is speaking out to the March issue of Ebony magazine about their daughter Nahla and the role that race plays in her own relationships.

The Oscar winner, whose mother is white and father is black, tells Ebony that she identifies herself as a black woman but plans to let 2 1/2-year-old Nahla — whose dad is white and French Canadian — make her own decision about her race when she’s old enough.

“I’m not going to put a label on it,” she says. “I had to decide for myself, and that’s what she’s going to have to decide — how she identifies herself in the world. And I think, largely, that will be based on how the world identifies her. That’s how I identified myself.”

But, Berry adds, “I feel like she’s black. I’m black and I’m her mother, and I believe in the one-drop theory.”

Regardless, the actress acknowledges that being biracial isn’t easy.

“If you’re of multiple races, you have a different challenge, a unique challenge of embracing all of who you are but still finding a way to identify yourself, and I think that’s often hard for us to do,” she explains. “I identify as a black woman, but I’ve always had to embrace my mother and the white side of who I am, too. By choosing, I’ve often [wondered], ‘Well, would that make her feel like I’m invalidating her by choosing to identify more with the black side of myself?'”

Like Aubry, Berry’s current boyfriend, actor Olivier Martinez, is white, but she tells Ebony love has nothing to do with skin color.

“I’m very connected to my community, and I want black people to know that I haven’t abandoned them because I’ve had a child with a man outside of my race and I’m dating someone now outside of my race who is Spanish and French,” says Berry, who has romanced men from a variety of ethnic groups.

“I have never been more clear about who I am as a black woman…the people I have dated sort of hold up a mirror to me and help me realize more of who I really am,” she said. “And who I really am is a black woman who is struggling to make my race proud of me, who is struggling to move black women forward in the profession I’ve chosen, and those relationships have actually helped me identify myself more clearly. Not to say that I wasn’t able to do that when I was married to two black men, but it certainly hasn’t detracted from feeling very connected to my community, and who I really am at my core.”

Berry goes on to say that “the truth is that it’s taken me a long time to learn how to love myself, and color isn’t really a part of what I look at when I’m deciding who I want to spend time with. I look for the soul, the person, the evolution, what he believes in, who [he is as a person] and how does it affect me in a positive way.”

Divorced from athlete David Justice and singer Eric Benet, Berry has vowed to never marry again, but now says she might make an exception.

“The only reason I would is if I found somebody who proved to be on-another-level special to me,” she says. “And if for some reason I felt like it would be important for Nahla and her sense of family unit. I’ve been married twice, and [the marriages] didn’t work out. They were painful divorces, and I’m not so sure I ever want to subject myself to that kind of pain and heartbreak again. I don’t know if I can.”

again i have to ask, what year is this!?

oh, mississippi… you never cease to amaze me!  sure hope to hear about the rest of the results as soon as they’re in.

Poll: 46 percent of Mississippi Republicans want interracial marriage ban

And more of those who oppose interracial marriage have a favorable view of Sarah Palin, a new poll reports

BY JUSTIN ELLIOTT

The Dem-leaning firm Public Policy Polling has a new survey out that’s sure to raise some eyebrows.

When usual Republican primary voters in the state of Mississippi were asked if they think interracial marriage should be legal or illegal, a whopping 46 percent said it should be illegal, compared to 40 percent who think it should be legal. The remaining 14 percent were unsure.

PPP also breaks down how these voters view the GOP presidential field, with some interesting results. Here’s how those respondents would vote:

As PPP’s Tom Jensen notes, there are some interesting differences between the candidates’ favorability ratings when broken down according to respondents’ views of interracial marriage:

Palin’s net favorability with folks who think interracial marriage should be illegal (+55 at 74/19) is 17 points higher than it is with folks who think interracial marriage should be legal (+38 at 64/26.) Meanwhile Romney’s favorability numbers see the opposite trend. He’s at +23 (53/30) with voters who think interracial marriage should be legal but 19 points worse at +4 (44/40) with those who think it should be illegal

Dustin Ingalls, assistant to the director at PPP, tells me that the firm also asked non-Republican voters the interracial marriage question, and he expects those results will be released sometime in the future. He added that PPP also asked whether respondents believe the right side won the Civil War. Those results should also prove interesting.

 

what year is this!?

oh my jesus… yes, i had to go there.  i keep searching for an indication that this piece was written forty years ago, and only recently re-published just for… fun… or something.  i do think that there are, like, two valid, worthwhile points contained herein… but… um… oriental!?!?  that, of course, is not my main concern here, but it does point to the antiquated lens through which our dear (he does look kind of sweet and it says he volunteers a lot) mr. raiford views the world around him.  i don’t mean to come down on him.  i thank him for the unique opportunity to analyze the old “what about the children?” plea which i rarely see argued under the guise of modern day quandry.

maybe you should take a moment to skip down to the article and then come back to my stuff…  i’m never sure if it’s best for me to put my thoughts at the beginning or not… you’ve been warned… here they come…

first off, i’d wager to say that parents of mixed race children have long questioned the validity of discrete racial categories that require a child to choose.  i’d also wager to say that the white parents have probably had more questions than the black or ‘minority’ ones.  if this article was indeed written in the 21st century, i think it would be more accurate to say that (some fraction of) the rest of the country is finally beginning to question the validity of discrete racial categories.

most off… i cannot even believe that this man, who uses the term oriental multiple times, has the nerve to caution human beings who love each other and dream of starting a family to grow through life with… not to do so because race “matters” and (in his opinion) the children will be confused and unsupported outside of said family.  how about cautioning the rest of the country, those who haven’t caught up with the times, not to be so rigid in their notions of “us” in opposition to “them,” or who belongs with whom and why?  how about saying something to move us toward the idea that we are all fundamentally the same?  we are people.  who seek love and joy and connection.  and any time people are lucky enough to stumble upon those things we should encourage them to leap right in and build something beautiful from there.  which will encourage the rest of us to do the same. which will cause this society in which race matters more than who a person really is to change because the lines are blurred, have been crossed, eventually forgotten.  there you have a solution for the problem of the 6 year old that mr. raiford proposes will be confused and hurt by not belonging to any group outside of the immediate family.

and another thing… hasn’t the recent census informed us that there actually is a viable mixed-race reference group?  the only satisfaction that brings me personally is that it appears to be a necessary step toward the ultimate realization of the human-race reference group.  only one box to check.

to be fair… parts i liked… which really means agree with:

  • When a black and white couple produces a child, the child, by logical extension of definition, is black and white…
  • Race in the United States is a very discrete category. It is not based on any kind of scientific definition. It is based on a draconian sociological one and a divisive political one.
  • The United States has carefully and systematically created a society where race is a tremendously more important determinant of who we are than ethnicity, religion, national origin or personal achievements.

again, i do not mean to bring down a reign of fury on mr. raiford.  i’m truly grateful for the opportunity to blast these notions.  he seems like a nice guy with misguided concerns.  actually with misguided solutions to concerns that are unfortunately still mildly valid as we seem to be in an in between (united)state(s).  in between where we were and where we’re going.

awesome photo unrelated, source/subject unknown

HARD TIMES FOR MIXED-RACE CHILDREN

Written by GILBERT L. RAIFORD

In the pursuit of accuracy and personal pride, interracial parents are beginning to question the validity of discrete racial categories that require their children to designate single-race identification.

On the surface, this is a laudable pursuit and certainly a legitimate one. After all, we do define people as black or white. So, when a black and white couple produces a child, the child, by logical extension of definition, is black and white or neither black nor white. However, this satisfies only the biological, and perhaps anthropological, approach to understanding race.

There is a more compelling reality: Race in the United States is a very discrete category. It is not based on any kind of scientific definition. It is based on a draconian sociological one and a divisive political one. People here are defined as black or white or Oriental. This takes precedence over being defined as Jewish, Jamaican, Cuban, Haitian, Russian, Chinese, French, Catholic, Protestant, etc. The United States has carefully and systematically created a society where race is a tremendously more important determinant of who we are than ethnicity, religion, national origin or personal achievements. Witness the confusion of black Cubans or black Puerto Ricans or the Eurasians.

In the United States, an African-American parent, no matter how fair-skinned, cannot procreate a “white” child. The system does not make exceptions for an African American whose child is the product of interracial coupling. Of course, the reverse is not true for Anglo-Americans. They can have any race of child they want – black, white or oriental. That is the reality of this society.

I write this not at all to chide or even inform interracial parents. They are adults who most likely know a great deal about the race issues and are intellectually and emotionally strong enough to ignore the stupidity that is generated out of personal and institutionalized racism. Their lives together attest to this fact.

But what about the children?

It is not easy growing up black in this society. It becomes considerably more difficult for one who does not know that he or she is black, but is confronted by this sociological fact everyday and in so many ways, some of them hurtful and insidious. No amount of parental love can shield a 6-year-old from the confusion and hurt of not belonging to any group outside of the immediate family. Adolescents are particularly fragile, having to live with this confusion at the very crossroads of their lives when they are struggling to overcome self-doubt and needing to feel good about themselves, needing self-validation – things that one gets from people other than the immediate family, from a reference group. Presently, there is no viable mixed-race reference group. One is forced to choose. Mental health directs one towards choosing a reference group which minimizes our degree of race-mixing and provides us with full membership.

Superimposed on race is ethnicity.  Ethnicity is a reference group. For African Americans, it provides for a very sustaining sense of identity. It is no wonder that people like Lena Horne, Cab Calloway, W.E.B. DuBois, Walter White and Adam Clayton Power, even though white-looking, affirmed their blackness. It was not race that they were affirming, it was ethnicity, the sustaining sentiment which makes being non-white in America palpable and even enjoyable.

Hopefully, the day will arrive when we are no longer a racial society, a society where race does not matter. That day has not yet come. In the meanwhile, I caution interracial parents to consider the consequences of making their child a cause célèbre in search of a miscegenation reference group. Of course, it is important that a child knows the reality of his or her family genealogy and to even embrace it. It is at least equally important that a child is prepared to negotiate life based on the social context of society. Sadly, race matters.

Gilbert L. Raiford is semi-retired after a career in teaching and working for the U.S. Department of State. He lives in Miami where he volunteers at homeless facilities, the Opera House in Miami and after-care school programs as a fund-raiser. He may be reached at graiford@hotmail.com

unhappy father’s day

Not much to say about this one, other than it’s a crying shame!  And 12 is way too young to be dating. Thank you.

Ex Forbids Interracial Dating

Toddler and Teenager Expert Advice from Carleton Kendrick, Ed.M., LCSW

VIA

Question: My 12-year-old daughter is very mature emotionally and has very fine-tuned common sense. She and I are close and talk about most issues openly, but recently she brought up an issue that I am not sure how to handle.

We are white, but my daughter has an attraction for the black males in her school. She and her father (my ex-husband) are extremely close, but he is very much against her dating black boys.

My ex has threatened to do one of two things if she should want to date a black male: take me to court and assume custody of her, or exclude her from his life forever. I feel stuck! I can’t side with her dad at all because I feel if she is treated respectfully in a relationship, the color of the boy’s skin doesn’t bother me. I also can’t allow my child to lie to her father about what she is doing with her life and during her time with me. What do I do?

Answer: I commend you for wanting to take the high road in this dilemma and to honor all family members involved with honesty. Your ex is hurt, scared, and angry that his daughter would be attracted to and/or wants to date black boys. His heightened fears and considerable prejudice against the black race have made him become a desperate man.

I doubt there is any court that would grant him custody of your daughter simply because you allowed her to socialize with or date black boys. It would take something rather grievous and destructive in your parenting to have a court consider remanding sole custody to your ex. You cannot prevent him, however, from punishing her by eliminating all contact with her. He does have the power to harm her in that way if he chooses.

Going along with and enforcing your ex’s demands, which are based upon racial prejudice (and possibly racial hatred), would be a horrible lesson in morality and ethics for your daughter. He may also harbor similar prejudices toward other racial, ethnic, or religious groups and threaten the same things if she wants to date any boys in these groups that he does not like or respect.

I would suggest that you, your ex, and your daughter attempt to air this dilemma in the presence of a skilled, family-oriented therapist. My guess is that your ex will not agree to participate in this process and will cling to his ultimatum. In any event, I would recommend that you and your daughter see a therapist together.

I do believe that your 12-year-old daughter is too young to be dating boys, regardless of how emotionally mature you believe she is “for her age.” I would also explore with her why she is drawn to the black boys in her school more than any other group of boys. You seem to have a close enough relationship where you could ask such a question in an open-ended manner. The answers may be very simple or may involve some things that she has not articulated yet. Again, I encourage you to continue to deal with this issue in a forthright and open way, always with the intention of bringing about understanding and harmony, if at all possible.

threat to america’s essential character

I’m loving the ideas raised in this piece reflecting on the Pew Research Center’s report on interracial marriage which I blogged about earlier this week.  Was that this week?  Anyway, I think it’s healthy for white identity to be “threatened”.  I’ve been under the impression that white identity is without definition beyond the color and the perks that come with it.  Perhaps the perceived “threat” will bring about a deepened awareness of the struggle to maintain personal identity in the face of adversity, stereotypes, and societal expectations.  For thoughtful “minorities” this endeavor is par for the course, however it seems to me that the majority of the “majority” do not expend energy grappling with such issues.  By being called upon to do so, a new common ground may be created.  A ground upon which we collectively come together to redefine  “America’s essential character”. Other than that, all I have to say is that I was shocked by the stat that  less than 5% of whites marry outside of their race.  Not because I was under the impression that the number would be large, but because in the last couple of years I’ve witnessed (and am thrilled to be a part of) the blossoming of a community of biracial people who are proud and happy to be such.  Where did we all come from if the numbers are so low!?  I suppose that in the grand scheme of things there still aren’t all that many of us.  I simply went from 0-60 in a flash, so to speak.

U.S. far from an interracial melting pot

By Daniel T. Lichter, Special to CNN

Ithaca, New York (CNN) — According to a recent report by the Pew Research Center, one of every seven new marriages in 2008 was interracial or interethnic — the highest percentage in U.S. history. The media and blogosphere have been atwitter.

Finally, it seems, we have tangible evidence of America’s entry into a new post-racial society, proof of growing racial tolerance. Intermarriage trends are being celebrated as a positive sign that we have come to think of all Americans as, well, Americans.

But others have an entirely different take — a more ominous one. They see increasing interracial marriage rates as proof that the country is amalgamating racially.

To them, intermarriage is a putative threat to whites and America’s essential character. Their concerns are heightened by recent Census Bureau projections that the U.S. will become a majority-minority society by the middle of the century.

My research with Ken Johnson, a demographer at the University of New Hampshire, indicates that for American’s youngest residents, that future is now. Nearly half of U.S.births today are to minority women.

It’s time for everyone — on all sides of this issue — to relax and take a deep breath. The reality is that racial boundaries remain firmly entrenched in American society. They are not likely to go away anytime soon.

We are still far from a melting pot where distinct racial and ethnic groups blend into a multi-ethnic stew.

Indeed, seemingly overlooked in the Pew Report is the finding that less than 5 percent of all married whites have a spouse of a different race or ethnicity. The vast majority of whites today — as in the past — marry other whites.

What is changing are marriage patterns among America’s minorities, but in ways that are not easy to understand or summarize in short news releases. (Pew used the categories of non-Hispanic whites, blacks, Asians, American Indians and Hispanics.)

For example, Pew reports that the share of newly married blacks with spouses of a different race increased threefold between 1980 and 2008. Media accounts have variously trumpeted this as good or bad news for America’s future, depending on the presumptive beliefs and attitudes of their audiences about racial matters.

It is easy to forget the U.S. Supreme Court waited until 1967, in Loving v. Virginia, to outlaw state prohibitions against interracial marriage. Increases in black-white marriages, at least on a percentage basis, are large because baseline numbers are very small.

Romantics like to believe that love is blind. We embrace the idea that falling in love is a product of our emotions rather than rational deliberation. Of course, the empirical evidence suggests otherwise. Love may be blind, but it clearly is not color-blind.

Indeed, for all the hyperventilation, the demographic reality is that only about 15 percent of newly married blacks today became married to whites or other minorities. This is hardly a basis for celebrating a new racial tolerance in America or, if you prefer, for now believing that white identity is rapidly being lost to interracial intimacy and childbearing.

Unfortunately, most of the nation’s headlines ignored Pew’s observation that intermarriage rates with whites actually have declined among Asians and Hispanics since 1980. This is something new.

My research with Julie Carmalt and Zhenchao Qian, to be published in Sociological Forum, documents recent declines in intermarriage rates among U.S.-born Hispanics and Asians after decades-long increases. Declines in intermarriage have been largest among the second generation, the U.S.-born children of immigrant parents.

Among second-generation Hispanics, for example, intermarriages with whites declined by more than one-third between 1995 and 2008. Over the same period, they became more likely to marry Hispanic immigrants.

Since 1980, there has been a fivefold increase in the number of native-born Asian women marrying Asian immigrants.

One explanation is that substantial new immigration has simply expanded the marriage opportunities for native-born Hispanics and Asians. But it is also likely that the extraordinary recent growth of the immigrant population has reinforced a new sense of identity rooted in shared ethnicity and culture. This seems to have encouraged more in-marriage with co-ethnics at the expense of more out-marriage with whites.

Demographers sometimes consider intermarriage to be the final step in the assimilation process, or an indicator of racial boundaries or lack of them. The current retreat from intermarriage among America’s non-black minorities raises new questions about racial and ethnic balkanization in America.

Issues of race and immigration are an important part of the public dialogue.

In today’s highly charged political environment, it is easy to latch onto information that buttresses our own point of view and preconceptions.

Unfortunately, short headlines and easy-to-digest narratives about rising intermarriage rates tend to oversimplify or even distort a complicated statistical story that is still unfolding.

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Daniel T. Lichter.


for loving day pt.2

Once again, in honor of Loving Day, I thought it would be interesting to post this peek into the modern day interracial dating scene.  As experience by a black woman in Boston….

Race and dating in Boston

Posted by Meredith Goldstein

QUESTION:

I am a young, black, college-educated professional who has lived in Boston for most of my life. I recently turned 30 and am ready to have a serious relationship with someone special, irrespective of race.

I have dated a few Caucasian and Asian men, and one person from the Middle East. Every one of these encounters ended immediately after they realized that I was expecting more than a sexual relationship (I usually ended it). However, getting to that point was only half the battle. The hardest part was the approach! I think a lot of surprisingly wonderful relationships could be had if people weren’t afraid to step inside or outside of the “crayon box.” There have been many instances where I’ll overhear a white guy telling his friends how “hot” he thinks I am or after having way too many beers obnoxiously yell “I love Black chicks!” Not including the annoying drunk guy — why won’t non-black men approach me if there is physical interest?

And before anyone asks … yes, I date black men. Almost all of my relationships, serious or otherwise, have been within my race. However, I’ve always been open to dating men outside of my race. And due to the reasons previously mentioned, have been unable to do so.

Now back to the second portion of the problem I mentioned earlier. When we get past the “approach” barrier, I then find out that these men were hoping to use me as some sexual guinea pig. I’ve even had one guy tell me that he has a girlfriend but has “always wondered what it would be like to sleep with a pretty black girl.” Needless to say, he did not get the chance to conduct his experiment on me. My other encounters were almost as disappointing. I’ve really clicked with several guys. Had great phone conversations and shared mutual interest in various areas. We’d make each other laugh, talk about work, life goals, family, friends, hobbies, etc … BUT, the conversation would always redirect back to sex…  After realizing that I wanted more than to be their guilty pleasure, I would end it. I’ve had white male friends who I get along with great as friends. Then they would profess some secret crush they had on me over the years. They were apprehensive in pursuing a serious relationship and were more than happy to think we could be friends with benefits. There was never a problem with meeting their friends and family — or being introduced as their good friend. Being introduced or even thought of as their girlfriend, however, was an issue.

I’m left to wonder if non-black men still hold some pre-conceived notion about the ENTIRE species of black women. It escapes me as to why black men are able to easily, quickly, and openly approach and date women outside of their race, yet it’s so difficult and rare for non-black men to do the same with black women. When I go to NY, it’s very common to see mixed race relationships involving black women. But, I almost never see that here in MA. Is it a geographical thing? Is Massachusetts just as conservative when it comes to dating? Why are non-black men afraid to approach black women that they are attracted to? Are we seen as nothing more than “angry black women”….or even sex-crazed video vixens waiting to fulfill some secret chocolate craving?

– Cheyenne

ANSWER:

When I go to NY, it’s very common to see mixed race relationships involving black women.” CNS, I see a lot of things in New York that I just don’t see anywhere else. New York is pretty amazing when it comes to diversity, acceptance, and dating without boundaries. New York also has all-night public transportation and cheap cabs. It’s the concrete jungle where dreams are made of. There’s nothing you can’t do. Compare any city to New York and you’re in trouble. (That said, Go Sox!)

There will always be a lot of people who are only comfortable dating within their race, religion, or tax bracket, no matter where you live. Some of those people are very nice despite their boundaries. There will also be some real idiots out there who see dating outside of the “crayon box” as some sort of exciting science project. Luckily, those people tend to expose themselves pretty quickly by getting drunk and yelling things like, “I love black chicks!” I’m sorry that has happened to you. It’s upsetting and disheartening.

There will also be people who share your goal of finding someone awesome, no matter what color they are or where they come from. They’re out there. Some of those men might be scared to approach you, but that might not have anything to do with race. Some men are afraid of the approach, in general.

I’d add that a lot of your other dating issues… are also pretty typical. Guys who seek friends with benefits, guys who fixate on the hookup portion of a date — that’s all typical Love Letters stuff, isn’t it? I’m not saying that you’re wrong about the “crayon box,” but don’t attribute more to race than you have to.

My advice is to keep dating, approach men who appeal to you, be clear about your intentions, and get to know people well. Someone who cares about you, understands your goals, and has earned your trust isn’t going to want to use you as an experiment or a friend with benefits.

Readers? Is this a Massachusetts thing? How can she approach men outside of her “crayon box” without having to wonder whether they’re taking her seriously? Is race as much of an issue as she thinks it is?

– Meredith

for loving day

Home

It’s Loving Day!  Interracial Marriage has been legal nationwide for an entire 43 years!  Imagine that.  A few days agao CNN.com ran this piece giving us an idea of what people really think about interracial marriage today.  I think it an appropriate post for the occasion.

Your views on interracial marriages

SOURCE

(CNN) — “Interracial/interethnic marriage is a great way of fighting war, hatred and prejudice. Think about it. If we all are mixed, who can we hate?” wrote a reader about a CNN.com story on race and marriage.

That comment was one of the thousands of responses to the story about a new study from the Pew Research Center that found interracial and interethnic marriages are at a record high of about one in seven.

About 14.6 percent of newly married couples reported in 2008 that they married outside their race or ethnicity, according to the Pew report released Friday. In 1980, about 6.8 percent of newlywed couples surveyed said their spouse was of another race or ethnicity.

Overall, reader reactions voiced support for mixed relationships, with many commenters proudly identifying themselves as being in an interracial or interethnic relationship.

“I’ve been happily married in a mixed race marriage for seven years. To anyone who would like to oppose mixed race marriage: What gives you the right? I pay taxes, served in the U.S. military (where I was disabled) and watched all kinds of races die in service to the pledge to protect every American’s freedom. So as far as I’m concerned, blood only has one color: RED, and there’s only one race: the human one,” wrote BeerMan5000.

Reader RippedJeans, a black woman, talked about marrying her white boyfriend of three years. She wrote, “I could not be happier! I love him for the MAN that he is, and I’m truly grateful for having him in my life. Love is colorblind. …”

Danchar821 was also in support of interracial marriages. Reflecting on her personal experience, Danchar821 wrote. “We met online through mutual friends. I went to Mexico every month last year and we were married. I could not be happier. There are cultural differences, but if anything, they have helped me to grow as a person. She is wonderful and so loving and I feel truly blessed and happy. The racism that some people show on here is truly sad. We are expecting our first child — a boy — in September.”

Another couple talked about their wedding ceremony, which celebrated their cultural differences. Reader cellblock131 wrote, “I am Hispanic and married a white woman. … When it came to our wedding, we had a mixture of both cultural practices. For example, my dad read passages in Spanish, then her dad read them in English. The reception had traditional white American dances, plus Mexican in the mix. It was a wonderful wedding.”

One reader identified only as Guest said he won’t date outside his race.

“I care what race the women I date are. I am a white male. I date only white females. Sure there are attractive women in other races but I stick with my own. It’s America land of the free,” wrote Guest.

AntigoneR ignores people’s objections.”I can only speak for myself, but I really don’t care how many people accept or do not accept my interracial relationship. I don’t recall asking their opinion. Having said that, I’m glad to see that the trend in society is more accepting, and that racial barriers are crumbling. I wish it were faster.”

(fwiw: i’m realizing at this very moment that none of these people are American by birth)

One commenter echoed a common view among the Millennial Generation, found in an earlier study this year from the Pew Center that reported 85 percent of 19- to 28-year-olds accept interracial and interethnic relationships. SIR10LY wrote: “It’s 2010. I can’t even believe this is still an issue! If two people love each other, let them be. … If you’re opposed to it, get with the times already!”

Children of mixed marriages also shared their views.

Reader Anex wrote, “Product of an Interracial marriage and darn proud of it! I’m a happy mutt!”

Other readers pointed to the challenges of marrying someone outside their race.

“But one thing the article does not mention is divorce among interracial couples is much higher than same-race couples. Challenges in understanding, family relations and pressures overall are higher. People should know what they’re getting into,” warned a reader.

WHATRU wrote, “I’m an Arab, my husband is white. It gets more complicated after you have kids. The cultures and beliefs are just too different. It is easier to marry your own kind.”

Reader Toadlife wrote that racial discrimination can also be difficult. “Race matters because racial discrimination continues to happen all around us to this day. If you think otherwise, you are naive and probably white and have all white relatives. Thankfully, we’ve come to a point in our society where race is not a determining factor in one’s fate, but it can still be an obstacle from time to time,” Toadlife wrote.

Reader nal4america said her decision about whom to date is influenced by what race she grew up with. “I’m of West Indian decent and I grew up in a small town in Utah. I am so used to dating outside of my race that I don’t even date men of my race simply because I am not attracted to them. I think the environment you grow up in plays a huge factor in the mate you select. I am 95 percent certain my husband will be of a race other than my own and that’s fine because I believe in the American Race.”

Native Americans had yet another take on the situation.

“… [T]here can never truly be justice and real harmony on stolen land … just like there can never be peace and harmony in a house that’s been burglarized and its inhabitants marginalized and oppressed … ask an Apache or Navaho or black American if they are happy to live in a society dominated by white people. The indigenous were here for many thousands of years before the Europeans destroyed the culture and lands of the indigenous almost worldwide,” wrote hotepk. “…What must happen is either they go back to Europe or pay restitution — like any other convict guilty of a crime — otherwise there will continue to be struggle.”

Ndngirl2010 responded: @hotepk–I am full blooded Navajo and I’m fine with living alongside whites and get this –*gasp*– I married one! A majority of my family doesn’t harbor any animosity toward any other race. Let bygones be bygones and, instead, focus on the future.”

The readers who responded to CNN’s coverage on the Pew Research Center study seemed to acknowledge the growing blurring of races and ethnicities.

Reader HalfBaked shared: “My wife’s biological mother is Filipino/Mexican and her biological father is Scottish. She was adopted at birth into a German-Jewish family. My mother’s side is Italian/Turkish and my father was Hungarian. Our kids are about as ‘mixed’ as you can get.”

decreasingly on the rise

This article raises more questions for me than it imparts information.  That may be it’s purpose.  I want to know why there is a decrease in the rate of increase of interracial marriages.  Ever since my “a-ha” moment surrounding my biracialness, I’ve been super-interested in the greater number of white women/black men couplings as opposed to black women/white men.  I realized on that day that having a black mom/white dad made me a “minority” within a “minority” within a “minority” (and a majority?).  What!?  I don’t even like the word minority.  Let’s use anomaly.  I perceive myself to be an anomaly within an anomaly.  That’s better.  Anyway, I would love to conduct a study on why exactly the trend in gender and race of black/white couples is as it is.  Lastly, what really stands out to me in the information below is that U.S. born Hispanics and U.S. born Asians are marrying (I assume) U.S. born whites.  What does this mean?  Americans are marrying Americans.  That should be the paradigm that we as a nation collectively shift toward.  Race doesn’t exist. Nationality does.

Interracial Marriage: Who is More Likely to Wed Outside Their Race?

by Lynnette Khalfani-Cox

Interracial marriages are on the rise in the U.S., although they’ve slowed somewhat over the past decade. The latest census figures show that interracial marriages in America now account for 8 percent of all marriages, up from 7 percent in 2000. During the decade from 1990 until 2000, there was a sharp increase in mixed-race marriages, with such couplings growing by 65 percent. Since the year 2000, however, mixed-raced marriages have grown by just 20 percent to about 4.5 million couples.

Looking at the data over the past three decades, which groups are more likely to marry outside their race? According to federal statistics, African Americans are three times more likely to marry whites than they were back in 1980. Some attribute this to an increase in African American educational attainment and more professional interaction among blacks and whites.

Other findings from the census data include:

*14.5 percent of black men and 6.5 percent of black women now marry whites

*38 percent of U.S.-born Hispanics marry whites, compared with 30 percent in 1980

*40 percent of U.S.-born Asians marry whites, a number unchanged since 1980

It would have been interesting to see other data that looked at interracial couples of all kinds, not just a look at which “minority” groups marry whites. In this sense, this data is skewed and rather limited when talking about the full scope of interracial marriages.

We all know that the world is fast becoming multicultural, global in nature and interdependent in numerous ways. From the adventurous traveler who meets and marries someone of a different race and culture in another country to the investor who buys stocks and bonds from companies all around the globe, the world is at once becoming smaller, yet bigger and with more possibilities.

The challenge going forward will be how do we deal with the social, economic and political realities of living in an increasingly multiethnic, interracial society? And will we ever get to a point where race will simply cease to matter — all matters personal, professional and otherwise?

SOURCE

hundreds of illegitimate mulatto babies

Woweee!!  This article contains two phrases that I totally admire for the vagueness contained there-in: “the social pressure of British provincial respectability” and “if the infant evidence was removed.”

“Is There Anywhere? . . .”