surprised

I have to admit that I don’t place the “new year” in the category of momentous occasions.  But I do believe in taking stock and making commitments to yourself, and I embrace the opportunity for reflection that the out with the old affords.

I kept seeing this on the inter web…

may-your-coming-year-be-filled-with-magic-and-dreams-and-good-madness-neil-gaiman

…and while it was not written for this particular turn of the calendar, I really like where it led my 2013-14 thoughts.  Both backward and forward.  When keeping this in mind and reflecting back on 2013 I find peace in the realization that I lived this life.  For the most part.  I mean I certainly could have read some more fine books, but there was magic and dreams and all kinds of madness.  I sang my heart out, for a crowd, in a way that I did not know I was capable of.  And best of all, I surprised myself.  Big time.  In the following ways:

1.  I got a tattoo!!! Weeks after voicing my resolution to never get a tattoo…I got a tattoo!  And I LOVE it! Not only is this particular tattoo spectacularly bad ass, I felt it was a baptism of sorts.

2. I had 9 house guests.  As in visitors from out of town staying in my apartment.  And I liked it.

3. I set (and maintained) boundaries with a commitment to my own highest good. You know that “with friends like these…” thing?  Well, apparently, you can let those friends go.  It’s a choice.  A difficult one.  But it’s one you can make.

4. You know that other thing they say about new people will come along to fill the void?  It seems to be true!  Many of the relationships in my life that I am most grateful for right now are with people I didn’t even know six months ago.  Shocking. One for the universe and one for me on this one!

5. I became someone with a spiritual practice, a list of favorite mantras, and host of Kundalini Kriyas that I play around with daily.  My family of crystals has grown from 2 to 13.  I didn’t even know I was a family of crystals kind of girl.

6. I stayed level-headed and brave-hearted when Oscar had to be hospitalized due to a stomach virus.  This was one of the greatest lessons in trust and surrender.  I totally passed.  Gonna have to give props to surprise #5 above for that one.

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7. I fell in love with a bird.  Her name is Peaches.  If you are one of the unfortunate few who went to an amusement park with me back in the day (or walked down a street) to have some fun, only to be subjected to shrieking and ducking and other such foolishness, you know that this is a miracle.

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8. I took myself to Maui and gave up pretty much everything for a week and was open and alive and brave and absolutely myself.  And I wore a bathing suit.  Again, if you know me, you know.

9. I was present, centered, and as loving as I have the depth to be at this time to help somebody I love transition out of this lifetime.  I know I will write about this in depth one day.

Honestly, I am quite pleased with myself.  Last January I would have laughed at the notion that this list would be mine. Yet here it is.  There are all kinds of things I hope to do in 2014, but what I’m most looking forward to are the surprises.  The things I can’t even fathom from here.  How did you surprise yourself last year?

black and white horses2014 Year of the Horse

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on dogs

“Dogs are our link to paradise. They don’t know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring—it was peace.”-Milan Kundera

“I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren’t certain we knew better. They fight for honor at the first challenge, make love with no moral restraint, and they do not for all their marvelous instincts appear to know about death. Being such wonderfully uncomplicated beings, they need us to do their worrying.”-George Bird Evans

Oscar! My new dog!

notes to self

in an attempt to exorcise my grief, so this blog doesn’t become an ode to sorrow or a memorial for my Indy, i’m gonna put into this one post the things i need to know right now.  so, if you’re having a hard time too…  if it doesn’t feel like christmas… if you’ve lost something or someone dear to you…  if that’s ripped a hole in your universe… maybe one of these things will resonate with you too.  if not, please come back tomorrow and hopefully it’ll be biracial business as usual over here.

today

Today I had to say

to my favoritest thing God ever did give me (so far)

I was lucky enough to be entrusted with Indy for 2,615 of his 4,440 days on earth.  Not nearly enough, but I’m so grateful for every second that I got to know and love him.  It was a privilege.  It was an honor.  Thank you, Indy! I love you, Indy!