for loving day


It’s Loving Day!  Interracial Marriage has been legal nationwide for an entire 43 years!  Imagine that.  A few days agao ran this piece giving us an idea of what people really think about interracial marriage today.  I think it an appropriate post for the occasion.

Your views on interracial marriages


(CNN) — “Interracial/interethnic marriage is a great way of fighting war, hatred and prejudice. Think about it. If we all are mixed, who can we hate?” wrote a reader about a story on race and marriage.

That comment was one of the thousands of responses to the story about a new study from the Pew Research Center that found interracial and interethnic marriages are at a record high of about one in seven.

About 14.6 percent of newly married couples reported in 2008 that they married outside their race or ethnicity, according to the Pew report released Friday. In 1980, about 6.8 percent of newlywed couples surveyed said their spouse was of another race or ethnicity.

Overall, reader reactions voiced support for mixed relationships, with many commenters proudly identifying themselves as being in an interracial or interethnic relationship.

“I’ve been happily married in a mixed race marriage for seven years. To anyone who would like to oppose mixed race marriage: What gives you the right? I pay taxes, served in the U.S. military (where I was disabled) and watched all kinds of races die in service to the pledge to protect every American’s freedom. So as far as I’m concerned, blood only has one color: RED, and there’s only one race: the human one,” wrote BeerMan5000.

Reader RippedJeans, a black woman, talked about marrying her white boyfriend of three years. She wrote, “I could not be happier! I love him for the MAN that he is, and I’m truly grateful for having him in my life. Love is colorblind. …”

Danchar821 was also in support of interracial marriages. Reflecting on her personal experience, Danchar821 wrote. “We met online through mutual friends. I went to Mexico every month last year and we were married. I could not be happier. There are cultural differences, but if anything, they have helped me to grow as a person. She is wonderful and so loving and I feel truly blessed and happy. The racism that some people show on here is truly sad. We are expecting our first child — a boy — in September.”

Another couple talked about their wedding ceremony, which celebrated their cultural differences. Reader cellblock131 wrote, “I am Hispanic and married a white woman. … When it came to our wedding, we had a mixture of both cultural practices. For example, my dad read passages in Spanish, then her dad read them in English. The reception had traditional white American dances, plus Mexican in the mix. It was a wonderful wedding.”

One reader identified only as Guest said he won’t date outside his race.

“I care what race the women I date are. I am a white male. I date only white females. Sure there are attractive women in other races but I stick with my own. It’s America land of the free,” wrote Guest.

AntigoneR ignores people’s objections.”I can only speak for myself, but I really don’t care how many people accept or do not accept my interracial relationship. I don’t recall asking their opinion. Having said that, I’m glad to see that the trend in society is more accepting, and that racial barriers are crumbling. I wish it were faster.”

(fwiw: i’m realizing at this very moment that none of these people are American by birth)

One commenter echoed a common view among the Millennial Generation, found in an earlier study this year from the Pew Center that reported 85 percent of 19- to 28-year-olds accept interracial and interethnic relationships. SIR10LY wrote: “It’s 2010. I can’t even believe this is still an issue! If two people love each other, let them be. … If you’re opposed to it, get with the times already!”

Children of mixed marriages also shared their views.

Reader Anex wrote, “Product of an Interracial marriage and darn proud of it! I’m a happy mutt!”

Other readers pointed to the challenges of marrying someone outside their race.

“But one thing the article does not mention is divorce among interracial couples is much higher than same-race couples. Challenges in understanding, family relations and pressures overall are higher. People should know what they’re getting into,” warned a reader.

WHATRU wrote, “I’m an Arab, my husband is white. It gets more complicated after you have kids. The cultures and beliefs are just too different. It is easier to marry your own kind.”

Reader Toadlife wrote that racial discrimination can also be difficult. “Race matters because racial discrimination continues to happen all around us to this day. If you think otherwise, you are naive and probably white and have all white relatives. Thankfully, we’ve come to a point in our society where race is not a determining factor in one’s fate, but it can still be an obstacle from time to time,” Toadlife wrote.

Reader nal4america said her decision about whom to date is influenced by what race she grew up with. “I’m of West Indian decent and I grew up in a small town in Utah. I am so used to dating outside of my race that I don’t even date men of my race simply because I am not attracted to them. I think the environment you grow up in plays a huge factor in the mate you select. I am 95 percent certain my husband will be of a race other than my own and that’s fine because I believe in the American Race.”

Native Americans had yet another take on the situation.

“… [T]here can never truly be justice and real harmony on stolen land … just like there can never be peace and harmony in a house that’s been burglarized and its inhabitants marginalized and oppressed … ask an Apache or Navaho or black American if they are happy to live in a society dominated by white people. The indigenous were here for many thousands of years before the Europeans destroyed the culture and lands of the indigenous almost worldwide,” wrote hotepk. “…What must happen is either they go back to Europe or pay restitution — like any other convict guilty of a crime — otherwise there will continue to be struggle.”

Ndngirl2010 responded: @hotepk–I am full blooded Navajo and I’m fine with living alongside whites and get this –*gasp*– I married one! A majority of my family doesn’t harbor any animosity toward any other race. Let bygones be bygones and, instead, focus on the future.”

The readers who responded to CNN’s coverage on the Pew Research Center study seemed to acknowledge the growing blurring of races and ethnicities.

Reader HalfBaked shared: “My wife’s biological mother is Filipino/Mexican and her biological father is Scottish. She was adopted at birth into a German-Jewish family. My mother’s side is Italian/Turkish and my father was Hungarian. Our kids are about as ‘mixed’ as you can get.”

offensive or no?

Upon reading the headline of the article my mom emailed me, I was all set to be very offended by these photos.  After reading it and seeing the pics, I am not offended.  Is that bad?  When I read “blackface” I think poorly applied shoe polish and outrageously red lipstick.  When I saw these pictures and read Schiffer’s statement that they were playing with different men’s fantasies, I thought it made sense.  Lagerfeld and Dom Perignon hired one super Supermodel to play two characters (for lack of a better analogy).  To me this is not offensive.  I don’t think Schiffer kept a black model from working that day.  What if Naomi Campbell had done the ad in “whiteface”?  Would that be offensive?  I also wonder if Heidi Klum would have agreed to participate in this.  I would love to get her take on it.

Claudia Schiffer strikes controversial pose in ‘blackface’ for German magazine


Claudia Schiffer is drawing criticism for her controversial photo on a German magazine cover.

Claudia Schiffer is one of the world’s best-loved supermodels, but she’s drawing a firestorm of criticism for her latest magazine cover.

The blond stunner is at the center of a racially-charged controversy after a photo of her in “blackface” hit the Internet this month.

In the photo, which was shot by Karl Lagerfeld two years ago as part of an ad campaign for Dom Perignon, Schiffer is disguised in an Afro wig and dark face paint, prompting accusations of insensitivity.

“It shows poor taste and it’s offensive,” Shevelle Rhule, fashion editor at black lifestyle magazine Pride, told U.K.’s Daily Mail. “There are not enough women of color featured in mainstream magazines. This just suggests you can counteract the problem by using white models.”

The photo resurfaced when German magazine Stern Fotografie repurposed the image as one of six hardback covers for its 60th anniversary issue.

The other covers also feature Schiffer in various costumed looks shot by Lagerfeld – as a sexy secretary, a leather-clad cop, Marie Antoinette, and even an Asian woman in a kimono.

Schiffer’s rep defended the series, saying, “The pictures have been taken out of context. The images were designed to reflect different men’s fantasies. The pictures were not intended to offend.

The sexy shots of Schiffer are drawing serious criticism from those who think the makeup choice was offensive.

Read more HERE

heidi & seal & lou & leni & henry & johan

Seal posted photos on his website!  So beautiful!


“It’s difficult to imagine loving another child as much as you love your existing children,” Seal writes. “Anyone who has a family will tell you this. Where will one find that extra love? If you love your existing children with all of your heart, how then can one possibly find more heart with which to love another?”. “On Friday, Oct. 9, 2009, at 7:46 p.m., the answer to this question came in the form of our fourth child and second daughter,” he continues. “Lou Sulola Samuel was born, and from the moment she looked into both of our eyes, it was endless love at first sight. She is beautiful beyond words and we are happy that she chose us to watch her grow over the coming years.”

parenting biracial children

I think this sounds like one of the most fascinating books on the subject.  I’m really looking forward to reading the different experiences of black mothers and white mothers and women of various generations.  Wow!

Race and identity: Do parents of biracial kids face special challenges?

by Lylah M. Alphonse

When social scientist Marion Kilson’s children were born, in the 1960s, she assumed that they would identify as African American, like their father, not European American like herself. “I was still in graduate school,” she remembers. “I wrote my term paper on slave revolts. I assumed my children would be identified as African American, and I wanted them to know that not all African Americans had been gospel about their slave status.”

Her friend and fellow social scientist Florence Ladd, on the other hand, says that she didn’t have expectations about her child’s race in his early years; it was her stepson, who is white, who “made me think about his future and racial identification in infancy.”

In their book, Is That Your Child? Mothers Talk About Rearing Biracial Children, Kilson and Ladd discuss the challenges facing parents in a multicultural world….

Kilson, who is European American, and Ladd, who is African American, had known each other for 40 years but had never really talked about their experiences parenting biracial children before, Kilson says. They talked to about 25 Boston-area parents while working on Is That Your Child?, and they kicked off their research by interviewing each other.

Kilson and Ladd focused on mothers rather than fathers (“We just felt that was really that a man would do better than we could,” Kilson says) and decided not to touch on racial issues faced by adoptive parents. The parents they spoke with were from different generations, but most were upper middle class and all were from the United States. “Growing up in this society, we have a different take on race,” Kilson says.

“Americans have a hard time seeing relationships when their skin color is different,” she continues, talking about the times when her daughter, whose husband is Scottish, has been asked if she’s the nanny of her lighter-skinned child. (I can’t even count the number of times people have asked, “So, what are you?” or asked if my kids all have the same father.)

Older generations tend to be more focused on the racial differences between a parent and a child, Kilson points out, even if they don’t intend to be negative. She doesn’t think it’s possible to raise a truly color-blind child in American society…but younger people, who are more comfortable with race and diversity, navigate this multicultural world with ease. It’s all they’ve ever known.

“I perceive that, for our children, they didn’t have a public choice about racial identity, whereas for our children’s generation, their children have a choice about affirming all of their identities,” Kilson points out.

And the possibilities are endless. “When children see themselves in public figures as well as teachers — that hope flows through them as well,” Frohlich says. “We do expect children to value one another as individuals, regardless of ethnicity.”- source

If Heidi Klum wasn’t Heidi Klum, I bet she’d hear “Is that your child?” a lot.


re: heidi and seal




Supermodel Heidi Klum and husband Seal have welcomed a new addition to their family.

According to a report from, Klum gave birth to her fourth child, daughter Lou Samuel, early Friday morning.

Labor was induced shortly after midnight and by 1 a.m., the baby was born.

Klum, who recently filed a petition to change her last name to her married name Samuel, has a daughter, Leni, and two sons, Henry, 3, and Johan, 2, with Seal.


a new biracial children’s book


Though the Newsday reviewer doubts that mixed race kids wonder about the racial features of their soon-to-arrive siblings, I don’t.  Since my “Heidi and Seal” post, I’ve wondered how little Leni will react to her new sister who will likely be brown like her brothers.  I imagine that right now she might think that boys look like the dad and girls look like the mom.  Since their new baby is said to be a girl, that theory (should it really exist in her mind and not just mine) could be blown out of the water.  

Regardless of any of that, I’m so glad to know that this book exists and hope more like it will follow.

review taken from,0,2983687.story

I’M YOUR PEANUT BUTTER BIG BROTHER, by Selina Alko. Knopf, $16.99. Ages 4-8. 

Books that address issues in an obvious way can be a bore, but since books are a useful way to address issues, parents, teachers and librarians are constantly on the lookout for good ones. In Selina Alko’s “I’m Your Peanut Butter Big Brother,” a child in a biracial family wonders what the new baby will look like. The whimsical elaboration of possibilities makes this the rare “issues-book” you’d want to snuggle up and read with your kids. 

“Baby, will your hair look like mine?” the boy asks. He considers the range of hair in his family: “Noel’s string beans locked this way and that, or Akira’s puffy broccoli florets? Maybe, like Auntie Angela, your mushroom bob will wave neatly in half-moon curls. Feathers might hang from a round coconut face. Or, like Grandma Helen, will sharp blades of grass stick straight up?” 

Certainly no two parents, of the same race or not, look precisely alike, and I doubt that children are considering racial features when they wonder: “Baby brother or sister, will you look like me?” But in a world where skin tone, hair texture and eye shape carry social complexity, this book offers a welcome alternative vocabulary.

By Sonja Bolle

heidi and seal

I heart them.


From Us Weekly May 4th

Do you talk with the kids about having a biracial family?

“If being biracial ever comes up in school, then we would definitely talk about it. And I do think they see the different colors.  Leni(almost 5) did this wonderful painting hanging in our kitchen of our family. It’s Seal, who she painted really dark. Then me, kind of white with a sparkle dress on. And she made herself exactly like me, and she has a crown on with a sparkle dress. And then is Henry, who is not as dark as Papa, so she chose a different brown pencil. And there is Johan, who has a different brown pencil. So it’s not like she says, ‘Oh, they are different,’ but I see that she sees it. I don’t think it’s a big deal.”


Click HERE for pics of the new baby!