My Twistori obsession has subsided and I am now fond of wasting my time at Fmylife.com.  I’m still flying high from the news in yesterday’s post, so I’m not feeling particularly schadenfreude-istic right now.  That being said, I still get a kick out of FML.

According to the site…

Fmylife.com contains a daily dose of short anecdotes, based on a simple recipe: in a few sentences, users can tell everyone the shitty moment which ruined their day. These short stories must begin with “Today” and end with “FML”. On top of being a huge release for the person telling their story, delightfully proving that “f*** ups” happen to everybody every day, fmylife.com also aims to be funny for everyone involved, as well as a way to share your misfortunes with other unlucky individuals, bearing in mind that self deprecation and a sense of irony are essential!

Many of them cause me to lol and smh.  Here are a few random fmls.

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say “You... want me... take picture?” while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says “No thanks asshole. I got it.” in plain english. FML

Today, I was mowing the lawn of my brand new house, located in a very nice neighborhood (I am a hispanic male), and a lady in her nice white cadillac drove up and asked me, in extremely broken spanish, if I could mow her lawn too. FML

Today, the girl whom I have loved for 4 years told me that she loved me too and would like to spend her life with me. This was before she told me that God did not want us to be together. FML

Today, at lunch I ordered a coke. The waiter replied “diet coke?” and I corrected him saying, “No, regular coke.” He shook his head and said again, “diet coke.” FML

Today, I babysat for two little girls, who wanted to play ‘mermaids’. I smiled, and said that I would love to play with them. The older girl laughed, saying “You can’t be a mermaid. Mermaids are pretty.” FML

Today, I got a letter from Princeton that said i got accepted. I jumped for joy screaming at the top of my lungs.My little brother walks in laughing with his camcorder on record. He played a joke on me and gave me the real letter. I was denied. FML

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

If you’re feeling blue, check it out. Someone is bound to be having a worse day than you.