Category Archives: quotes

the girl who fell from the sky, or one of the best books ever!

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This is exactly how I felt while reading Heidi Durrow’s debut novel The Girl Who Fell From the Sky (available today yesterday wherever books are sold).  Except that I do know her, and I thank God that she’s not dead because I need more from this author/friend of mine.  Heidi has written one of the best books I have ever had the pleasure of reading, biracial subject matter or not.  Truly beautiful, profound, poignant.  All that good stuff and more!  I read (more like devoured) TGWFFTS during an extremely difficult time in my life.  I felt as though the book was saving me.  And reminding me of all the good things I have to offer.  And that no matter what hardships and tragedies we may go through in life, the story goes on- there’s another chapter to be lived.

Though the book is not entirely about being black and white, there are many beautiful passages that honestly touch upon the heart of that matter.  I often find myself lamenting the fact that this biracial identity is so misunderstood out in the world at large.  The Girl Who Fell From the Sky offers much insight.  I sincerely hope that it is widely read.  We all need this book.  Whether we know it or not.

A few of my favorite “themes” of the novel:

Loss of self, becoming the “new girl”, becoming “black”, forsaking white.  Making deals with the self.  Deals which become layers covering over the authentic self.  The self that the biracial kid loses when they feel pressured to be just one thing.  Then eventually you long to be just one thing because no matter how hard you pretend to be whatever it is they want you to be, you can never totally convince yourself that you are exclusively that one thing.  Because you aren’t.  But most people seem completely incapable of understanding that, of allowing that.  So we find ourselves feeling alone and lonely in groups of people.

One of my favorite quotes from the book is, “I think what a family is shouldn’t be so hard to see.  It should be the one thing people know just by looking at you.”  Unfortunately, we’ve been trained to recognize families as homogeneous groups.  Seeing interracial couples is still jarring for many.  Mentally pairing a mother with a child that “does not look like” her can be a major stretch of the imagination.  But it is not an imagined thing for many.  It is a reality.  And for whatever reason that people who don’t have to deal with this don’t seem to understand, we need our families to be recognized.

I could go on and on.  I have pages of notes.  But I hope this is enough to pique your interest and motivate you to buy (and read!) The Girl Who Fell From the Sky.  I’d love to hear what you think!

hiatus over

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I hope…

It’s been a rough month.  Sorry I haven’t had much to offer the biracial blogosphere.  I’m sick of only posting inspirational quotes now, but really don’t remember how to do this anymore.  It’s like I wake up everyday to a life that I don’t recognize since I lost Indy.  Hopefully, if I just try, the blog and the vlog can help ground me.

I’m thinking that the best place to (re)start is by telling you all what I’ve been doing while I haven’t really been doing anything.  Wait for it… Wait for it (yes, I know you can see it already)…

I have been watching a lot of Roseanne.  A LOT!  I bet I’ve seen half of the nine seasons of episodes.  I really liked Roseanne as a kid.  I identified with Darlene and Becky back then, though.  Now, to my horror, I’m relating to Jackie and Roseanne.  Don’t get me wrong, they’re great, but when and how exactly did I get so old!?  I have gained new found respect for Roseanne Barr.  I am a big fan of John Goodman.  Always have been.  Roseanne and Dan were such a great couple!  And OMG, OMG the clothes!!! (Here is a website dedicated to the “fashion” on Roseanne.)  Also, George Clooney was a pretty major player in the first season.  I only remembered him being on The Facts of Life, once they had the store, but there he was playing Roseanne and Jackie’s boss at the factory.  And did you know that in the pilot episode D.J. was played by some kid named Sal Barone, not Michael Fishman.  I hope you did not, because that is completely useless knowledge that has been sealed into my brain since I saw the pilot episode a couple of weeks ago and was so shocked by that.  And grateful cuz Fishman was so cute and so funny, and Sal….wasn’t (as).  The two Becky thing still confuses me though.  Oh, how I wish they would have a Roseanne reunion show.  Here’s a photo of what it might look like…

But where’s Jerry?  “Who is Jerry?”, you ask. Roseanne and Dan had a baby toward the end of the run.  His name was Jerry.  By the way, I know people said that the show sucked toward the end and that they should never have won the lottery or whatever, but I watched the entire final season and it was really good, in my opinion.  Roseanne was droppin’ pearls and my guess is that America couldn’t handle it.

Roseanne + Dan Forever!

In case you missed it (check TVLand and Oxygen)…

The show centered on the Conners, an American working class family struggling to get by on a limited household income in the fictional town of Lanford, Illinois. Many critics considered the show notable as one of the first sitcoms to portray a blue collar American family with two parents working outside the home. For many years, Roseanne tackled taboo subjects or joked about issues that most other popular shows at the time avoided, such as poverty, alcoholism, drug-abuse, sex, menstruation, birth birth control, teenage pregnancy obesity, abortion, race, social class, domestic violence, and homosexuality.  Barr’s real-life brother and sister are gay, which is what inspired her to push for introducing gay characters and issues into the show: “My show seeks to portray various slices of real life, and homosexuals are a reality.”  The show was also significant for its portrayal of feminist ideals including a female-dominated household, a female lead whose likability did not rely on her appearance, relationships between female characters that were cooperative rather than competitive, and females openly expressing themselves without negative consequences.

In the fall of 2008 Barr said, on what the Conners would be up to now, “I’ve always said now that if they were on TV, DJ would have been killed in Iraq and [the Conners] would have lost their house”. When asked for more details on where the rest of the Conners (Jackie, Becky, Darlene, David, and Mark) would be, Barr said “Your question is intellectual property that may be developed later, so I don’t want to get into that”.