“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
— Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”
— William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”
— Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.”
— Abraham Lincoln

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”
— Groucho Marx

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. if you have one.”
— George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.”
— Winston Churchill, in response

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”
— John Bright

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”
— Irvin S. Cobb

“There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.”
— Jack E. Leonard

“They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.”
— Thomas Brackett Reed

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”
— Forrest Tucker

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”
— Mae West

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